My husband's ex passed away about 1-1/2 years ago. When she became really sick (about 2 years ago), his children came to live with us. At the time they were 10 and 11. I have one child who was 5 at the time and we have a child together who was 3.

Fast forward two years. We now have a 13, a near 12, a 7 and a 5 year old. The 13 year old had a great deal of trouble dealing with his mother's death. So much so that we had to put him on medication to help him through it (of course he was also involved in talk therapy too). He is now doing fine except for normal 13 year old boy problems. However, my stepdaughter (the near 12) and I are really developing problems in our relationship. She will not listen to me, back talks me and is just a real smarty pants to put it nicely. She causes problems between my husband and me because he insists that she is just being funny. This is not the case, she knows what she is doing and now it is rubbing off on my 7and 5yr olds. Help!
I should add that my husband works 12 to 15 hour days 5 days a week and works part of the day on Saturday which makes me pretty much the one who has to handle everything.