Hello there,

Newbie here looking for some advice, I don’t know if I want to break up with my GF.

A little background, we have been together 18 months and lived with each other for 6 of those. We rent the house, should we break up I could move in with my parents for a short while but I think she might find it more difficult, I could probably help her out with a few months rent but that’s all.

At first things were great but I am just not enjoying the relationship right now, you wouldn’t guess to meet me but I am very introverted (I think “Tears of a Clown” was written for me), I like to spend time by myself. Now I also very much enjoy spending time with my GF, I like to sit on the sofa, have tea and watch a DVD cuddle, kiss and the rest.

But I don’t want to do it every night, some nights I want to read a book, in a room, on my own but my GF thinks that I am shunning her when I do this and gets upset. I feel guilty about it, and then angry at her because she makes me feel guilty, and then I feel like a bastard for being angry for what she perceives as no reason.

I don’t have any time to do my hobbies because I have to spend all my time on the sofa with her in my arms.

She says I am cold-hearted quite often, I know I am quite a rational person and appear unemotional but that’s me.

She is really jealous, if I go out for an evening I have to remain in constant touch via SMS, if I don’t reply for 10 mins I know a teary phone call is imminent.

If I go away with friends or for work I will receive calls in the middle of the night and have to tell her that I miss her etc, even when I am having a perfectly good time probably sleeping, or having a beer with friends, I am lying to her but I feel I have to. I have always believed her when she says she can’t sleep and is missing me but I am beginning to think this has more to do with checking up on me. For the record I never have and never will cheat on her.

I feel like her clinginess and jealousy is a wedge between us, she is special to me and the sweetest person I have ever met but I feel like I am constantly treading water. I have just started a new job and I know I am definitely underperforming.

Its kind of Catch-22, I know she is this way because she is frightened to lose me but if it continues I think I will have to leave, I feel trapped.

Sorry for the long post. Please give me some advice, or at least reassure me that I am not a bastard, or be honest and tell me that I am a bastard!