i agree nita, i would hope that my friends would feel that they could come and talk to me about things and that i would always be there even if its just to listen and not to comment :smile:

I was one abused by an ex boyfriend. I was at school at the time and he was 19 so there was about a 3 year age gap.
My parents were not very happy about it but I thought it was great.
Everything was going well until he started to smoke resin. He would get paraniod and say I was with other people. A lot of the time it was mental abuse which is just as bad as actual bodily abuse. THis mental abuse went on for months. I did believe I was thick and stupid and ugly and fat und useless !! Then came the physical stuff.... He used to run a bath and then make me sit in it with all my clothes on and then walk home with no money. It would take an hour. Or poor shampoo in my mouth. He once locked me in the bathroom for over an hour whilt I was wet through with no lights on screaming things through the door.
The final straw came one night when he out a knife to my throat and ripped my clothes. I started screaming and the police came. He used to live in his grandmas old flat in a high rise. So the police were door to door knocking.. Being silly I told them I was fine.... I walked home again that night.
I hid it well from my mum and dad... i was never the favourite and always the quiet one so no one saw any change.
I eventually split up from him but he continued to follow me and my friends everywhere. he would threaten my male friends and tell everyone how sad I was.... he was not a close friend before so my mates didnt know him.
Now I am sad...... No one tells me they love me..... not my family or Nath... in 7 years I can count the number of times on one hand..my sister has a little girl and she is now the centre of attention... because I am quiet no one seems to notice. Nath works 24 hours a day 7 days a week..... and sometimes all you want is a hug...all my friends are married and have children and I think there is just somthing missing...

Dont get me wrong I dont sit and mope around the house.. I do go out and have a laugh but that is not what is on the inside....

Mental abuse has done me in.... there are more things but I could be on here for ever..... I worry that I am not good enough for Nath and that people forget about me all the time. Joining 6 Eggs has been great cause it gives me the opportunity to talk to others.... I bet you are all asleep now ! :cry:

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awww trudie what a horrid thing you went through :sad:
i cant for one minute even try to think what people like you have gone through or how you feel because ive never been in a situation like that.
as you say though mental abuse is just as bad if not worse sometimes than physical abuse, bruises and cuts heal, mental scars dont :sad:
i know people might disagree with me here but hearing 'i love you' isnt something that needs to be said, rather than felt, i was never told this by any of my family and i dont say it to any of mine.
the reason you feel like you do is because he made you feel worthless which you are not, try thinking of the sort of person he is and KNOW that what he said was because he is scum not because of anything you did or what you are. :grin: xx

thank you. Your reply has made me smile :smile: I know I am better than anything any one says to me... somthimes though it is hard to forget... :cry:

Thank you again.

I am so glad I joined 6 Eggs cause I feel like you are all my friends even though I dont really know you.

Ta

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bloody hell trudie :shock: noone deserves all that :sad: you just look in the mirror and tell yourself how good you are!!! i learnt years ago due to problems i had at home that the only person to count on properly is yourself!!!! learn to like yourself and the confidence will come from that! you are a strong confident woman and believe it...I agree that you dont need to say you love someone, we were never a family that said it much but i like to tell my kids all the time and they know even when i tell them i dont like them much because of their attitudes :lol: that i still love them!
you know that what your ex did was toitally wrong, does nath know about your past? if he dos then he should make more of an effort to make you feel special.. because tou are!!

:lol: you need a day out shopping with me and ela.. we will show you what confident women are ;-)

:grin: You'll come back with no money though :grin:

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PL...

No i have never told Nathan what happened... dont know why ? I think it is beause I do not like dragging the past up..

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maybe you would feel better getting it all off your chest one day and tell him! it would help him to understand more about you too :smile: