Hey all you wonderful people!
Well I am here looking for help/advice, or just someone who I can talk to. I have been having some serious girl problems. I will try to lay our relationship out for you. We are both 20, and were high school sweethearts, I was a star football player, she a beautiful cheerleader…….. you get the point. Her dad left her when she was 3, and her mom is a rotten mother, loving but cannot provide, and I have never heard them have a conversation, just yelling. But when college rolled around, she turned into the typical college girl, drinking, partying, wanting to dress sexy and attract men. She gave me the whole “I want to experience college single” speech so we know we are the right ones for each other. I do go to parties, but have never had alcohol in my life.

Now in college, we have remained in close contact, see each other every few weeks, talk multiple times daily. She never enjoyed the feeling of sex, but just enjoyed it because “it was with me.” But I came to find out last week that she has had a guy for about 6 months and they have had sex. She told me this after I asked, she doesent keep things from me; but I was shocked because I honestly thought she would never have sex with anyone else because she is self conscious and not a sexual person. But my world was rocked, and I have been crying nonstop for a few days now. I call her when I am bawling and she is helpful. Even though I feel like telling her I don’t love her, and never want to see and talk to her again, I can’t. I don’t even know what is the right thing to do.

I will have a VERY comfortable starting salary with no debt to pay off after college, and have treated her like a princess ever since I met her. All of her family tells her to never let me go because I am rare………… She is not so well off financially……. I know it does not mean everything, but it is a positive thing. But she still tells me that I am the one she sees herself with in the future because I know her better than anyone and we love each other. We are each other’s rock and all that lovely stuff.

But I don’t know what to do, it is going to be hard for me to continue being so close with her when my insecurities about her having sex are so exposed. I don’t know if I can tell her I don’t want to talk to her because she has abandonment issues from her father, and I think I played a father figure for her. But in high school I turned her life around, she had a 1.0 gpa and didn’t care for school. I motivated her and now she is doing fine in college.

What should I DO?????????? I hurt so bad seeing images of my little angel sleeping with another man; I honestly thought the sun would explode before that happened, she is just not a sexual person.

Its hard too because when I call her crying, she is just supportive and sweet. Saying that we need to go out and do this thing so we know we are the right ones for each other in the end. And when she thinks about not being with me in the future, she gets so sad. And I feel that by going no contact, I will hurt her even more than she hurt me. And I don't know how she can go through life without having me there supporting her.

And the attempt at yesterday's NC was TERRIBLE......... I did ok most of the day, went to the gym, saw a movie. But on my ride home, I started going nuts! I was home for about 1.5 hours just bawling my eyes out, worst episode yet, I just wanted to call her and let her know what she is doing to me. I didn't call but started driving to her house (1.5 hours away) for two reasons:
1. Wanted to shock her and scare her, make her realize how bad I really am doing
2. Maybe catch her sleeping with her new guy and make them feel like shit
3. Tell her to her face that I never want to see her or talk to her again, and take back by promise ring, that she still wears and treasures.

WOW I feel for u brother....BUT I been there and seen it happen to many times..When u see each other do u take her to bed? If not real problem if so well u might still have a chance if u will folow my instruction.... I will tell u as soon as u reply to my question.
BUT first u must NOT call her and try to make her feel bad. Thats what ur trying to do when u call and cry to her.... and secondly stop that crying A woman HATES a weak man and you're showing it big time....I thought she was in college? what's at her house?. What if u catch her w/ another guy WHAT will u do then?? he might kick ur ass BUT u will not make him feel like shit........REMEMBER I've been where ur now in fact several times...WOMAN can cut a guy loose w/o a seconod thought GUYS always and let me repeat myself ALWAYs take it real hard.........So did u go to her house?? what did u find ??
If u were such a big hero at school call up a girl to date maybe someone who is still seeing your should I be bold and say EX....unless she's still doing u....
let me know what's happening and I know it's rough but don't call hr and cry to her......