I've got an older brother who is really pretentious. He assumes his opinions are always valued even when they're untrue or highly negative (which they often are.) My last couple boyfriends that he has met he was very rude to. This makes me angry because he barely knows them and he has no right to treat them that way. He assumes just because he's a few years older he is much smarter and mature. I've tried talking to him about this but he just continues to do it. I'm just not sure how to deal with this. I was relieved when he didn't come up to our house at Christmas because it would have happened all over again.

I don't have knowledge of most of the details, although I've inferred through your post that he's simply looking out for you because he may feel that it's his obligation as an older brother to do so. This could possibly be the reason why he acts rude and vulgar to your boyfriends merely because he doesn't want you to get hurt and he still perceives you as his younger sister who's not experienced enough to be in a relationship at this moment.

Acting angry may be natural for many, and evidently most people would not accept the fact that their older brother would accept something such as this coming from his younger sister. Nonetheless, it happens and this could be one of the reasons why he is acting superior in front of you and your boyfriends to indirectly display his disapproval or his superiority towards the relationship.

This is what I've assuming could be the problem, although it could not be likely. Do you think this could be a reason? Look back at what he has done so far and see if what I say could be assumed as one of the factor. Good luck!

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That does seem like a really likely explanation. I just didn't think of it from that perspective. Thanks, John.

No problem! I'm glad that I was able to offer a possible explanation. If you need additional advice, feel free to ask us.

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There's not much you can do about his behavior. People are what they are. All you can do is warn people before you bring them over so they'll know what they're in for.

You're not going to be able to change your brother like was said before and he really probably thinks he is just trying to take care of you even though you may not need it.

Tell him up front that he needs to cut it out because it's making your sibling relationship suffer and that he has to learn to know a person before judging them.