I got a call around 5 pm telling me my grandpa has cancer and will be having surgery on the 26 of this mouth. i had planned to go home on the 29th of February - 8th of march. but i guess i will be now going to Arizona. In a way i don't want to go to Arizona. I hate most of my family there and will have to stay with them the whole time I'm there. I love my grandpa, he was the one who pretty much raised me (my mom was always working), he was always there for me. He stayed with me in the hospital when my mom had to work. I don't want to see him like that though I don't won't to see him sick. I'm afraid that I might start to cry or something and I don't wont to. I'm a bad person for not wanting to go? It makes me feel horrible. Like I'm being selfish, because he was always there for me.

You may feel that it's an obligation to visit your grandfather because of what he had done for you considering he has been there for you when your mother was working. You have to keep in mind that people are impeccable and all have flaws. People have sicknesses which are difficult to avoid which leads to the conclusion that there will be a moment in time when every human being will pass away; death is inevitable. I'm not necessarily calling you selfish, but you have to keep in mind that you have options. Imagine how your grandfather would feel if you weren't there for him. Do you think that he would be happy or sad that you would be gone during a time when he possibly needs you? I'll say it again: You have options.

If you're afraid that you might cry due to him being an important figure in your life, it's fine. People cry to let out their emotions of sadness and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It will show people visually that you actually have feelings and I believe that shouldn't be held against you in any way. If you truly want to be there for your grandfather despite being filled with sorrow, be present for him.

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I know people die. this past December alone i went to 3 different funerals. i cried at the first one but at the other two i was so numb i couldn't do anything i couldn't even talk. the first one was my uncle tommy, my family yelled at me and told me I had no right to be upset because I don't live there and U supposedly was not close to him. but when my mom was at work and my grandpa was busy I stayed with him and my auntie Marie. I also don't want to fight with them anymore. I will see him and have to deal with the family I hate. I have to go though. I will either be a baby for crying or a heartless b*** for not.

You don't always have to listen to what people have to say about you or what you should feel. Listen to yourself when it comes to that. If you truly believe that being there for your grandfather would be a beneficial think, do it then.

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i guess idk its hard not to listen to them their family, family i hate but still family.

I know it's hard when you know that you are going to lose your family especially your grandparents. I lost my grandpa in 2004 and my grandpa in 2005 and i was really close to both of them. You know that if you need anyone to talk to that i am here for you. I wish you the best with what is going on and i will keep u in my prayers.

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e adams

Thank you BabyNorbert,

Honestly, if you don't want to go then don't go. It is very hard to see loved ones all tied up to machines. See if you can make plans to go down the week after or something. That way you won't have to see him when he is really sick.

Although, shouldn't she take into consideration of what her grandfather would think? I mean, if one of the main reasons why she's not going is because of her family, then that shouldn't necessarily obstruct her will to go. Regardless of feeling emotional when a loved one is sick, you should definitely take his feelings into consideration.

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I can't make other plans, I will not be able to go any other time. I am in college and I can not miss any classes. I will be going down their on the 29 of February, the first day of spring brake.

My family is the main reason I wish not to go. I will be there although I have been calling my friends down their to find a place to stay. I found a place with one of my old friends. He knows my family and will me with me were ever I go. Which will be nice because no one will mess with me with him around. He always defends me and the family don't like to argue with him. :-D