...coming into our home? I have been a divorced mother for 18 yrs my son is 18 and I am getting married soon he'll be there for awhile until he decides to move out what advice would you give to him since there will be a step parent in the home and to the new husband i told my fiance you cant tell him what to do or get involved in the relationship between him and I unless i ask and it would be in the privacy of our room we can also talk all three of us but he is to be respectful to him if hes not happy he can move out anytime his feelings are importantsirrich i have not ask my son to endorse this marraige hes an adult he has a choose to stay here or not my fiance doesnt have any say so in his life at all we have talked about it and he agrees

he need to show the new comer respect and your man needs to show him respect.that's the best i have good luck

I think you got it right. At 18 he should not have to start dealing with an authoritarian step-dad. He is a young adult and should be treated as one. Good luck.

I moved in with my fiancee (now husband) when my son was 19. It was decided by my fiancee and I that things would be discussed by the two of us before a final decision was made (just like we were already married). So, if my son wanted to do something that would normally require both parents to decide, my fiancee and I would discuss it first. I asked my son to show respect to my fiancee, and my fiancee to respect my son. We all lived together for 2 1/2 years before we married. Six months before we got married we set the ground rules regarding a time limit of how long he could live in the house with us. He moved out one month before his deadline. My son now loves his step-father like he was his own father, because my husband was there for him on a day to day basis helping him along life's path more than my ex ever did. I hope this helps.

I think what you've done so far is a good start. I might word the "if you're not happy, you can leave" bit (although I know that isn't how you wrote it, it might sound that way to an 18 year old).When I remarried, the only concern my oldest son (who has always said he wanted to live at home "forever") had was if he could "still" live at home for as long as he wanted with a new stepdad. My answer was yes (although he makes me question my sanity daily now that he's 16)....lol.I think the important thing is that you remind your son (and maybe new husband) that you're all adults. Your son doesn't have to like your husband, but he has to respect him, simply because of the fact that you chose him. Your new husband in return, MUST realize that you and your son have a bond that will not be broken. Good luck to you.

Wonder how you can communicate in a 3-some if you can't even organize your thoughts here. Ask a 18 yr old to give advice to a new step parent?Your son is now 18. He doesn't have to acknowledge the new guy as his STEP PARENT because technically he is not. The new guy marries his mom and that's about it. Your son doesn't have to call the guy Dad in any form because he needs no more parenting. All depends if you had asked your son for endorsement of the marriage.And you gave the new guy 1/2 of the authority position in your house over your son and tell him what to do. You are setting up 2 men to butt head to be the alpha male of the house.