My oldest son is 16, and he has always been a really good kid. Lately he has started running around with a boy who I don't approve of - they are getting in minor trouble with the law, fighting, etc. He's also been running around with a girl who I know is not a virgin, her mom pays for her motel rooms and gets her condoms and beer. I know if I forbid these relationships he will sneak around. How can I pursuade him that these kids are not the best choice without damaging our relationship? His dad says I need to let him learn on his own and make his own decisions. I'm just not ready to let go just yet. Is there anything I can do?

move away and take him with you. sounds like you and he may have lost some closeness you need to find a way to get close to him again.

I think he has to figure it out for himself. Let him nkow u dont approve but respect his choices. If the girls mum buys her condoms at least she does not have STD's and is practicing safe sex

they like that stuff but remember when u were a teen

Who is the parent here? He should not be running around at all. He is only 16. All his friends should be screened by you and if you do not approve of them he should not be seeing them. When he is an adult he can pick all his own friends. He is not an adult yet and you need to pull in that rein. You are just asking for trouble giving him so much freedom. You are not your child's friend, you are his parent. If he has been in trouble with the law you have good reason to ground him and set some strict house rules now before it is to late.

Beat the living Hell out of him... Before he ends up in prison! What are you waiting for ! ? ! ?Use your best belt....

He's only 16, you don't have to be ready to completely let go. If I were you, I would put my foot down, you have two years to go until he possibly moves out of the house. Do you really want to deal with that for 2 years. And tell your husband to get on the wagon, you can't do it on your own. What kind of mother would buy her daughter a hotel room with beer and condoms. How old is this girl, if I knew about that I would be calling social services. Try talking to a counsouler or a support group that could give you ideas and suggestions as to what to do. This is where the expression TOUGH LOVE comes into play!! Nine chances out of ten he won't listen to you, you are gonna have to find a neutral party that can talk to him. Send him away to a camp of somesort, make him get a job, do something cause if you don't it may be to late.

'Well you can only do so much...Just tell him you are there for him and explain to him that you trust him and he should know what is good and what is bad. A lot of times you tell your kids to stop hanging out with someone that you don't approve of but instead of listening to you they do the opposite. So it's always better to let them find on their own, remember you can only learn from experience. Regarding that girls mother, I'm a mother of 3 girls 13,15 and 17 and I don't see myself doing anything like that for my girls(paying for motel,beer and condoms) she is acting like she's like a friend not her mother! I am against teen pregnancy, its ridiculous that now days you tell them everyday, you see so much advertisement and the consequences of having a baby. I don't understand how can parents tell their kids "its OK...have the baby- I'll help you take care of that baby" NO it's not OK...there is so much in life for teenagers to do not get stuck with a baby at a young age! Like your husband says he will learn to make his own decisions.

You have reached the point where you have a child/man, and no matter what he says, he still needs your guidance. Maybe now more than ever. Try to maintain your cool, and treat him like an adult. Like your husband is saying, he has to learn consequences and accountability. Be consistant, tell him what the consequences will be if he does xyz, and then if he still makes a choice that you've warned him about, make sure you serve the consequences on him. Talk to him, tell him you love him, and tell him even though he is nearly grown - he isn't - and that he is going to have to answer to his folks when he goes nutty. Testosterone. Wildly surging emotions. Frontal lobe development! Its no fun being a teen. Be strong right now, he is pushing limits, as he should really- he is starting to discover who he is, apart from being your son. You mention that he has always been a really good kid-he still is. Trust him, trust all that you have done as his mom, and know that your relationship will survive if you can both maintain your love and respect for each other.Good luck!

Without patronizing him or talking to him like he is your child, talk about his behavior in a very grown up way, such as a boss would talk to an employee. Just talk about the behavior and assess his awareness of the (possible) consequences of his new friendships. Ask him if he is ready to face the consequences and tell him that his friendships are his decisions. It is true that kids need to learn important lessons like this one on thier own.