Hi

Oh my god where do I begin??? Last night my fella was talking to his mum and she got all serious and asking him a question. The question was "would you look after your sisters baby indefinatley?" He was bit shocked as its such a random question isnt it. Anyway, he said the answer is more than likely no, but he'd ask me.

It turns out that his sister has told his mother that shes not ready to be a mother, she had the baby when she was 16 and now the baby turns one on 22nd feb. The thing that scres me the most is that shes deadly serious about not wanting the baby. His mum has been looking after it the majority of the time, so much so that the baby wont eat its food from its real mother, and crys for my fellas mum not his sister. His mum and dad pay for everything.

I've said I don't want the baby - why should I look after someone elses baby just because she doesn't want it? His mother should make her see her responsibilities, theres younger mothers that just get on with being a mother, she thought it was a good thing going out and getting herself knocked up, obviously the reality has hit home. I know he'll get a gobful of whys and why nots from his mum when he calls her tonight, but you cant just give a baby away like that!

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"Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow"

i can understand people saying they cant cope when they have a new baby but when the baby is nearly 1 ???
maybe she is just very selfish and realises now that she has lost her youth and freedom?
if your fellas mum has the baby most of the time anyway then surely she should offer to take it on, i mean its been passed around enough already and needs a permanent home with someone it knows well.
dont like that word 'it' sorry but you didnt say if it was a boy or girl.

Sorry, its a girl, Shannon.

To be honest, I think the novelty has worn off for everyone. His mum doesnt work so she basically has the baby 24/7. She'd always wanted be be a grandma so when it was born everything was all great, but now its not. From what my fella has told me, his mum took over from the start so his sister went out whenever she wanted to, and knew that she would look after it whenever she went out. Now his mum doesnt like that. Also, its hard on them financially as his sister doesnt give them any money at all for herself, or the baby.

Its just a strange thing for them to ask us. :roll:

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"Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow"

I can't believe that it's all come to this. I remember you saying when she was pregnant and everything that was going on with her and his family.

How can you just ask someone to take on a baby and I'm not being funny but if they don't like you then why ask you and your bloke. That's a bit hypocrytical if you ask me.

Maybe for the poor, poor little innocent baby girls sake they should call in social services and try and either get some family support or consider adoption. I feel so sorry for the poor little thing. :sad:

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Polly's Ebay

Its mad isnt it, his mum made some comment about us having our own place, and good jobs, but she didnt seem to realise who's going to look after her when im at work - my mum certainly wouldnt.

Yeah his mum doesnt like me, shes such a drama queen, lives for the moment of gossip, at the time I was gossip, now she sees me as a lifeline. I feel sorry for "my niece" too but when it comes down to it, just because were family doesnt mean that we have to right?

Im now feeling a bit guilty as I feel sorry for the baby, my fella has told him mum and dad (before this) that we'll be going down in 2 weeks time, but i dont even want to go. They were asking why Id not gone down at xmas (short memories hey?) now hes saying that i have to go or he'll look like an idiot for saying that we were going ......

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"Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow"

maybe if you felt up to it you could offer to have her on the odd saturday / sunday ? it's taking on something though, you might find if you did that it'd eventually be more and more then the odd night or two.

it's a hard one isn't it.

are you going to go then in 2 weeks ?

blokes just can't seem to say no to their mums ! my mil called yesterday to invite us for dinner and jeff couldn't just say, 'no actually, we're knackered with the baby being not well', he had to wait for me to ring her back and tell her why we wouldn't be going. such wimps at times !

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Polly's Ebay

Im just a little shocked that someone totally isnt interested in their own baby, that going out has more of an appeal. :roll:

They live 120+ miles away from us so a weekend thing isnt on the cards! Ive never even seen the baby before. If im honest it doesnt really interest me! :shock:

Ideally I wont be going, im hoping ill be working that weekend we go, or if not put my name down to work, or think of another excuse.

Yeah blokes are strange, mine doesnt mind saying no to be, but to anyone else its difficult.

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"Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow"

I'll look after her!! How heartbreaking. You know why its now + not sooner - this is when they get harder. They're into everything, whereas before they just slept or at least stayed still!!
I also remember her being pg, I think this happens with a lot of young girls - not all I hasten to add before I get shot down!!
The novelty has now worn off - it wears off us all if I'm truthfull, its then you realise just how much hard work parenthood is, but we all have to buckle down sometime - she's just shirking her responsibilities. Then again just think what she will now miss out on - all those smiles, kisses + cuddles - those are things you just can't buy.
Again - I will have her - she could be a girlfriend for Charlie!!

i agree jo, it is really hard at that age, they're starting to walk and fall. you just can't leave them sitting playing, you need eyes in the back of your head ! it's so tiring.

that's why i think you're best waiting til you're a bit older and have more patience and are less inclined to want to party every weekend !

however, on saying that, i do know people who are really young and cope fantastically well. it's all about realising that 'they' are your life now, you go without if need be so they have all they need.

lors - you're probably best not going, after all that's gone on, you can't just forgive them that easily, they did/treated you quite badly if i remember ?

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Polly's Ebay

youve both got a good memory!!! :grin:

Baby Charlie, bless, i remember him being born too! :grin: I bet hes so gorgeous! :grin:

Its an attention thing with her I think, it was attention with the pregnancy, making her mum and dad take her to A&E pretty much every 2 or 3 weeks throughout saying this felt wrong and that doesnt feel right ect ... now the baby's having all the attention shes off to get herself some attention, she went out friday morning, saying she'll be back sometime in the week - its crazy, I just cant understand it.

My fella thinks that i should put it all in the past, its easier for him. He used the old "theyre my parents, we have to go see them sometimes, they might die tomorrow" which is a fair enough point but again, it wouldnt be my fault ....... :roll: FAMILIES!

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"Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow"