:sad: Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend who recently lost her baby at 22 weeks and sadly haemmorraged (sp) and ended up having an emergency hysterectomy. :sad:

I just feel a bit nervous incase I say the wrong thing, hopefully I won't, but how do I be, do I just be myself and say how sorry I am. I can't wait to see her as she's such a lovely person but on the other hand I feel really, really nervous as I think I might cry when she tells me about it but I don't want to upset her more :???:

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Polly's Ebay

Aww thats awful paula sorry to hear that. Just be yourself :smile:

awwwwwwwww that`s terrible. just be yourself with her anything else will just be horribly fake and see through

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Let her open up to you, but obviously don't ignore the issue, when my sister in law miscarried after IVF she said that the worst thing is that nobody talked about (in case they upset her) and it felt like it never happened. Acknowledge that it did by asking her how she is doing, but then let her lead the way. Bless her, her world must feel like it has come crashing down on her, I suspect at he moment she feels as though she has very little to go on for. Just sympathise with her and be yourself. Good luck, it's not an easy situation to deal with.

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hiya

from my own personal experience its a difficult experience. I wanted people to say something, and not treat me diferently, but then i wanted everyone to shut the hell up, and leave it for a while.

Personally I dont think she will tell you about it. Shes probably out with you to take her mind off things.

Maybe get her a little card, not a sympathy card, but say, a blank card with flowers on the front, and just put inside something simple like, thinking of you.

The worst thing people could have said to me was "oooh sorry to hear what happened" and "are you ok" they just felt like really dismissive comments that anyone could make, about a whole range of subjects.

hope all goes well

i think the best thing to do is be honest and say you dont really know what to say to her but if she does want to talk you are happy to listen

Thanks for all the advice girls, hopefully, it'll be one of them where you start talking and the conversation flows pretty well, we're both chatterboxes usually when we get together and have known each other long enough to be totally honest with each other so I'm hoping there shouldn't be any awkwardness.

It's just so, so sad :sad:

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Polly's Ebay

Paula i agree i think that she will want to meet with you to talk about this and you's have known each other for long enough like you said so i,m sure she will feel comfortable talking with you - it might be just what she needs :wink:

Everything will be ok Paula :grin:

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Karen's Ebay

so sorry to hear that about your poor friend paula, hope everything goes well tomorrow, best of luck and best wishes to her, its awful :cry:

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I am so sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds like she has been through a dreadful experience.

Just let her know that you are there for her. Maybe ask her outright if she wants to talk to you about it?

At least then it will avoid any awkwardness and she knows that you are there to listen if she wants to talk.

Hope it goes ok x