Long Story as short as I could get it.

I’m in a 6yr. relationship in which I live with him. He’s 40 & I’m 36. First 1-1 1/2yr was great as most relationships are. We got engaged and started planning our wedding. With some family drama over the wedding & me finding out he was still have small talk with his ex-girlfriend of the past 7yrs. needless to say we called it off. I knew he did not want her but to me it was the principle of the thing. I’m very old school if you want to call it that or (insecurity as some might say). To me when you start into an engagement/marriage your ex’s are you ex’s for a reason. So over the next few yrs we had ups & downs and a month separation. This past September he paid for me a 6mth lease at an apartment to see if we could get the “spark” back. We still remained in our relationship. In March he bought a new house. He asked me to move back home on 3 different occasions. I put ground rules down that I was not wanting to come back to play house. I want to be in a committed relationship & move forward to having a family. He totally understood that. After a month or so he wanted to know why I have not gave my noticed at the apartment & I told him because there were no more talks and or plans on moving forward with our relationship. He gave me his word and told me to give my notice at the apartment. I did with a lot of reservations “my bad”. I moved in at the end of June. Things now seem as they did back when I moved out into my apartment. I have talked with him & about what we are doing & not doing. He told me a few weeks ago that he sees that it is him & he would “fix” it. He has been reading some books to common issues he feel like that he is dealing with. I was having this bad feeling that something was just not right. I looked at his emails to find that from Aug. 1 – Aug. 15 he had 4 to 5 emails between him & an old girlfriend that I know that he had a deep relationship with. They were pretty much small talk with the exception of a few comments. One he wrote “I think about you all the time” & another he wrote “I’ve been wanting to see or talk with you but I get so nervous. I have a lot of stories to tell you. I bought a new house by the lake.” Her replies were “I think about you as well.” “My sister is really sick & that all I can think about right now.” “I’ve always wanted to live by the lake.” One she signed off “Love you always”.

It all came down this morning that he knows I read he’s emails. Of course he’s problem is that I betrayed him by looking at his emails. I understand that but I wanted to find out if he was just having he’s personal issues or if it could be another woman. He sees nothing wrong with him sending her emails. My deal is if you play with temptation you never know what you’re going to get so why put yourself in that kind of situation. I don’t really feel that he’s done anything but the emails but I’m not going to be blind about it either. He assured me that he just wanted to keep in touch with her because they were such good friends & he did sure special time with her but he would never get back involved with her again. He says that he drops an email to her every 2yrs. or so. He said he would share that information with me but he knows that I can be insecure. Which he’s pretty much right especially when I’m ready for my family life to get started & were going now where. Anyways does anyone have any advice?

Thanks for your opinion. I would ask to meet her and maybe become friends but I'm sure her husband would not approve of it. He's been there done that with the 2 of them & I'm sure he would flip if he knew about it.

We have talked a lot more about it over the past few days. He is now seeing a doctor regarding he's unhappiness in general.. After 2 visits he has come up with it must be our relationship because he has fixed or done away with everything else that might be the problem. He is now trying to come up with rather he wants in this / i want in this / is this what or not want.... From what i'm seeing & feeling it's the end of the road.... It's so hard for me to be 36 & starting over again. All I want is to have a stable relationship, get married & start a family.... I'll keep ya posted

Well it is the end of the road..... He told me last night that it's over.... Now I got a long road ahead of me wish me luck.... It's going to be so hard