here is this guy...we know each other for about 3 years ... 2 years ago, he liked me, and I liked him too but we didn't do anything. We fight all the time, but no matter what happens, we always end up running back to each other..and three weeks ago, we started texting, then he started calling me 10 times a day (I never called him first), and after midnight, we talk two hours...sometimes more, sometimes less!!! I've never talked two hours on phone, not even with my best friend....But maybe he sees me as his friend...and he said to me last night: "When my exams will pass, I will be with this girl shes so hot, believe me, memorize my words, I will be with her" and he didn't meant me, but one girl that is younger than us....he saw her on facebook.....and we always tell each other we are friends...and no one has ever made me feel this way!! NO ONE! .... on the other hand there is this other guy that is very persuasive, and i went out with him three times, we talk, talk talk, just talk but talking with him, and talking with guy number 1 IS NOT THE SAME......not the same I don't have the same feeling.... But guy number 1, he has never been in love before, he was a player, and he will never tell me he loves me! and I think I love him, but can't make the first move... And guy number 2, gives me everything I want, tells me everything I want to hear...and honestly I haven't been in a relationship for a long time.... Should I wait for guy number 1?? Or should I take chance with guy number 2? Will he ever give me the butterflies and sparks and passion I have with guy number 1? please advice me, I need it so bad THANK YOU *
If you know guy 1 is/was a player why would you put yourself in that situation there will never be any trust there. Guy 1 has made it clear that he is getting with another girl so what is the point of wasting your time if you know that he is not planning on getting with you anyway. Guy 2 you obviously dont feel the same for guy 2 because guy 1 has told you that he is planning on getting with someone else if guy 2 did this would you be asking the same ?. I think you need to think about who you want to be with and let the person know if they dont feel the same then maybe you should just move on with your life without the 2 of them unless you can continue having a friendship without having feelings for them.
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Definition: The fantasy bond is a form of self-parenting and self-protection that offers an illusion of pseudo-independence at the expense of real relating. The degree of reliance on the illusion of connection or fantasy bond is proportional to the degree of frustration and pain experienced in a person’s developmental years. http://www.psychalive.org/2012/03/the-fantasy-bond-defined/ Peep that! -max
